Probably wouldn’t be worth talking about, I’ve been keeping a secret for 12 years

This story could forever remain a secret, or one of those jokes that parents or siblings say someone got confused or replaced in the maternity ward.
In general, my wife and I were married for more than five years before deciding to think about a child. At first it was a completely spontaneous decision and desire. We got excited about this idea, began to fantasize how wonderful it would be to raise a beautiful girl or a beautiful boy, what circles we could give the child to, how we would help him with his homework at school, how much joy we would bring to caring for someone. This could unite us even more, bring us closer.

To plan a pregnancy, we first turned to a doctor for advice, I wanted to know my health and the possible risks. Everything was in order, but nothing worked for us. My wife tends to be dramatic and after the first failure she started to worry that something was wrong with us. Her doctor convinced that we shouldn’t immediately panic and make something up, we should relax and just go with the flow. So we did, so we got what we expected.

The pregnancy went well until the ninth month. And when the delay passed, the doctor planned to induce labor artificially. I was present at the hospital all the time, and also at the birth, I saw that something was wrong. I was kicked out of the delivery room even before the baby was born. And now I remember how my hands were shaking, but my hands were shaking all over, like in a chill. I can’t imagine how hard and scary it was for my wife.
A doctor approached me and I saw by his face that I was now going to hear not very happy news, but not what I heard: we lost the child. And it’s much, much harder when I felt it moving in my stomach, when we had already chosen a name, when we had been waiting for more than six months. The feeling that dreams are broken and trampled
At that time, I was slightly shocked, the doctor’s next words did not immediately reach me, and he said that he was leading another pregnant woman who gave birth to a boy this morning. Almost from the start of her pregnancy, she said she didn’t need children and would most likely have to be sent to a baby home. So the doctor asked if we didn’t want, in violation of all sorts of rules, to register the child for ourselves right away. He didn’t want me to tell my wife, but I couldn’t do that to him. We are used to discussing and making decisions together.

Кыргызстан: простые решения для спасения жизней новорожденных | UNICEF

Кыргызстан: простые решения для спасения жизней новорожденных | UNICEF
To be honest, I was afraid that after the loss of her own child, she would refuse, but no. This does not happen. We found an outlet in this little boy and from our first meeting we fell in love with him as ours. Also, coming out of the maternity ward, we promised each other with my wife that he would be our family, that all the bad things that happened to us and to him would forever remain behind those walls, and we would never go back there.

Our Egor knows nothing and is unlikely to know. For twelve years now, we have managed not to remember what happened on his birthday. And although I am still a little sad and painful to remember the loss of a little man who never breathed the air of this world, I am filled with joy and hope watching Yegor. We helped him, and he helped us.

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